About Jefferson This started on a website in a faraway place a long, long time ago. Basically, this is supposed to give you an idea of the inner Jefferson, without having to resort to a proctologist. Unfortunately, it has turned into a weblog of sorts, mixing that overly self-indulgent part of the web with pointless observations ala Seinfeld and lazy grammar via Larry King. Blame Carl Banks. He's to blame.

I live in Bermuda. It's a small enough place that you really don't have to get too much more specific. I live on the north shore, right on the ocean. I live in a pink house, which indicates I am comfortable with my sexuality. In my illustrious past, I have lived outside of Spruce Grove, Alberta, Edmonton, Alberta, Vancouver, Canada, Wilkes-Barre, PA, Saskatoon, Canada and Toronto, Canada. The only place which sucked was Vancouver. It continues to suck today. The other places continue their standards of excellence. Well, Toronto also has some suckiness, too.

I do something called asset / liability management. Essentially, I ensure that the balance sheets I manage get the greatest return for the least amount of risk. I currently work for an international bank. In the past I have worked for The Asset // Liability Management Group and Canada Trust. Oddly enough, both of these institutions are no longer in business. For more information on offering a larger tax-free income on tropical or sub-tropical islands, check out my resume. I am looking to move out of the banking business into less bureaucratic industries. I am looking into trading natural gas or possibly investment management.

I do have somewhat of a life outside of work. I play a bunch of sports. A couple of times a week, I play hockey. Yeah, I had to leave Canada and go to Bermuda to play hockey on a regular basis. I play goalie, which takes advantage of my skills - namely: I have few hockey skills, but take up a lot of the net and have had the benefit of watching the best goalie ever play over the past few years. The guys I play with are actually quite good. Bermuda finished 5th in the world in the 2000 World Championships. I also play basketball and football a couple of times a week. And when hurricanes don't piss me off, and sharks ain't around, I go bodyboarding. I rarely golf anymore, nor do I snorkel much. I'd rather do what I'm doing.

I don't drink alcohol, tea or coffee and I don't smoke. I don't mind the taste of alcohol, especially beer. However, I think drinking is immoral. That's my choice. Be my guest if you wish to drink. It's your life, not mine. I do use alcohol in cooking, but the alcohol burns off. Tea and coffee do not appeal to my palate, although mocca flavored desserts can be tasty. I'm not big on hot drinks of any sort. I don't smoke cigarettes either.

I do chew tobacco however. My brands of choice are Copenhagen and Rooster Wintergreen. Before you moralize to me about the health effects, realize that it takes an average of 14 days off your life. Before you tell me how disgusting it is, realize that you wouldn't have noticed that I chew tobacco until I told you. Before you mention all of the deleterious side effects of chewing tobacco, realize that I have nicer teeth than you. I'm not advocating that people start chewing tobacco, unless they are currently smokers. It is a bad habit, but on the scale of things, there are much worse things you could do.

It is known that dogs are a superior pet to cats. Cats are cleaner you say? If I licked my body instead of bathing, would you be impressed with my hygiene? A dog has a personality, and with apologies to Pulp Fiction, personality goes a long way.

I am a huge sports nut. I love Penn State Nittany Lion football. I was at Happy Valley for the unfortunate game against BC. I am a huge fan and still a season ticket holder of the Buffalo Sabres though I reside half an ocean away. I will get to a few games this year, but have a nice call option should the Sabres once again make it to the Cup Finals or play the hapless Leafs in the playoffs. I am also a fan of the Sixers and Phillies, both of whom provide me with mixed emotions. I also maintain a timeless vigil, awaiting the return of the USFL's Philadelphia Stars, professional sport's most dominant dynasty ever: involved in every championship of the league, and winning 2 out of 3 titles. It is no surprise that the Chuck Fusina-led Stars dominated the Anthony Carter-led Panthers.

I also have other eclectic interests. I am interested in Sabermetrics, which can be termed as the objective study of baseball. I published a paper which was used as a reference in a thesis at Southern Cal. I am available to do consulting.

I am also interested in Objectivism, which is the philosophy formulated by Ayn Rand. Essentially, it is a philosophy based on metaphysical reality, reason, rational selfishness and laissez faire capitalism. The world would be a much better place if everyone read Ayn Rand.

I kick back and take advantage of my home theater system. Nakamichi Soundspace 10 Home Theater provides the audio, and a Sony KV36XBR450 provides the video. I highly recommend the Nakamichi. I could not have made a better purchase.  I have my Dish Network feed, cable feed, VCR, XBOX and iPod hooked into the Nakamichi. A recommendation to Nakamichi is that the end of the VCR is near. I would not differentiate between different video and audio inputs. Oh, the day of the cassette is over too.  I could have gotten better value for my TV, however. I will NEVER buy a 4x3 television again. If I could do it over again, I would buy a HD ready Sony front projection television. I don't recall the model number, but the screen was measured in feet and the clarity was amazing.

I also waste time on rec.sport.football.college. You too can learn how to RSFCK! ($1). Saturdays are spent watching this great game we know and love - the rest of the week we discuss it, or anything else.

I am an atheist. I find religion to be a silly superstition, and in certain cases, quite evil. This doesn't mean that religious people are evil. Far from it, there are many good religious people. Their goodness comes from eschewing their religion in most cases.

I favor a playoff system for college football. The NCAA does not have a championship for Divison IA football. Most casual fans do not know this, and rely on the FWAA electorate. I don't like the BCS, which has already screwed up in choosing the challenger. I think a conference based playoff would be best, as long as the regular season meant a complete round robin for every conference. If not, taking the BCS and playing three more games in two weeks would be preferable. You could play 1 vs. 8, 2 vs. 7, 3 vs. 6 and 4 vs. 5 on January 1, with the 4 remaining winners playing the next Saturday. The following Saturday, you would have the national championship.

The DH is an abomination. It takes away strategy from the game. Why simply use the permanent pinch-hitter for the pitcher? Why not have 9 DHs? Why not expand rosters, and have unlimited substitutions? If watching a pitcher hitting .123 isn't exciting, how is it any better watching an lefthanded outfielder who hits .109 against lefthanders? It isn't. Baseball is not a game of action. It is a game of strategy.

Some of my favorite novels are The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky and The Godfather by Mario Puzo. The three aforementioned authors just happen to be my favorites as well.

Some of my favorite movies are The Godfather, High Noon, MallRats, and Rudy. Yes, I know having a Notre Dame movie is kind of sad. However, any time the Notre Dame band plays Hail to the Lion before an Georgia Tech / Notre Dame game, that's all right by me. Also, Penn State never did play Notre Dame, and never was behind 14-7 in South Bend. That is a fact. Aside from the anti-Nittany Lion bias, this movie still makes me cry.

Chicago dogs are much better than New York franks. Chicago pizza absolutely destroys New York pizza too.

My favorite city on an expense account is New York City. My favorite city not on an expense account is Madison, WI. The most underrated city in America is Buffalo, NY. The city has heart, the people are friendly, there is plenty to do and see,  and the severity of the weather is overrated.

My favorite comedians are Chris Rock and Richard Pryor.

My favorite states are Pennsylvania, Virginia and Montana. My favorite province is Alberta. Soon Alberta will be my favorite country.

My favorite foods by category:  Beef: porterhouse steak, black and blue  Pork: smoked Boston butt  Game: elk  Poultry: ostrich Seafood: Atlantic lobster  Fish: yellowfin tuna.  Fruit: lemon  Vegetable: garlic mashed potatoes  Cheese: pepper jack  Drink: lemon Perrier  Dessert: Ice Cream  Ice Cream: Peachy Paterno

My favorite foods by geography:  Creole: jambalaya Buffalo: beef on weck  Texas: beef brisket Southern: Boston butt  Philadelphia: Tastykakes Chicago: pizza (no other city compares...not even close) Pittsburgh: Primanti Bros. sandwiches Mexican: chimichanga  Bermudian: cassava pie Carribean: no  South American: fried plantains  Indian: beef jerky  French: chateaubriand  Quebec: poutine  Spanish: frittata  English: what? next you'll want me to ask 'em for dental advice.  Swiss: white chocolate German: bratwurst  Japanese: tempura  Italian: Lasagna Bolognese  Thai: I like Thai, but Thai don't like me, if you catch my drift.  Greek: souvlaki  Polish: pierogies.  Ukrainian: perogies.

It is my unfailing belief that soccer sucks.

More opinions coming soon!