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| Good Things
About Bermuda |
There are plenty of good things about Bermuda.
Here's my list:
1. Bermudians are about as polite and friendly as
you can get. It is not uncommon to get into conversations in
elevators, or for children to greet you while walking on the
street. My neighbors the Spensers continue to feed me during
Easter and Thanksgiving.
2. Bermuda is a low-tax locale. Due to this,
Bermudians are free and wealthy.
3. Bermuda is not overly self-conscious
and envious like, say, Canada. Bermudian culture does not
suffer without the government preventing US television
entering the country. The Canadian government becomes
apoplectic talking about how US culture is destroying
Canadian culture, without considering the choices of
Canadians, i.e., the ones determining the culture.
4. The weather has its ups and downs,
but generally, it is a good thing. The temperature is never
cold. It may dip into the high 40s once a year, but
typically it is 70 degrees during the winter, 80 degrees
during the spring and fall and 90 degrees during the summer.
It is very humid. Humidity is a double-edged sword. I hate
the condensation and mold it brings, but I like that it
feels more comfortable. Hurricanes, which aren't really too
common, are overblown (pun not intended). They are
interesting as long as you have satellite reception. They
get terrifying if the Hurricane gets to be a Category 2 or
higher, and they get boring and inconvenient when they knock
out your power.
5. Scooters. Sure, they look pretty
fucking gay. However, they are extremely cost effective: I
spend $5 a week on gas (even with $1.30 per LITER gas),
under $200 in insurance to ride. And scooters are very time
effective. Bermudians drive in the middle of the road (think
two lanes, with traffic in both directions, and a scooter
squeezing between traffic) with scooters. It is an excellent
way to not be party to traffic jams.
6. Bermuda shorts. I hate wearing formal
attire to work, but if I do, Bermuda shorts are a great way
to do it. They are more comfortable than ordinary dress
pants or suit pants, and are $25 a pop. Plus, you can throw
them in the washer and dryer. Very utilitarian. |
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| Bad Things
About Bermuda |
With the good,
comes the bad. Here's my list:
1. Bermuda is isolated from the rest of
the world. This has some drawbacks, namely making things
more expensive, simply due to the costs of doing so. It also
costs more to keep in contact with the rest of the world.
2. Bermuda is small. This prevents a
larger population and because of that, Bermuda cannot take
advantage of economies of scale. Again, this leads to
expensive costs of living.
3. Despite having a smaller government,
Bermuda is still overwhelmed by government regulations and
stupidity. I was a classical liberal before I came to
Bermuda and that philosophy has been strengthened. It is
stupid not to let franchises into Bermuda. If Burger King
ruins culture of Bermuda, what the hell does the Ice Queen
(local crappy burger joint) do for it? And check out how
popular KFC, the one fast food franchise that was
grandfathered, is. Other franchises inconsistently are
allowed to operate, like Shell or Esso - but who said
governments were consistent? Other regulations include
restrictions on purchasing housing or vehicles and the
onerous amount of sales taxes and duties - the largest
contributor to the cost of living in Bermuda.
4. The island is still too
British. Granted, Bermuda seems more British than it really
is: you drive on the wrong side of the road (no big deal),
wear Bermuda shorts (awesome), but these are superficial
things. Unfortunately, soccer and rugby and cricket are
still popular here.
5. TCD and BTC. The Bermudian equivalent
of the DMV and the phone company. Each is incredibly
inefficient and propped up by government regulations (thus
explaining its inefficiency). Unfortunately, I have to deal
with these organizations. In the 27 months I have been here,
I have been without my own phone for 3 months in 3 different
incidents. |
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Pictures of Jefferson's place
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This
is my house. Pink houses are common here, so don't fret, I'm not a
fruit.
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This is my living room, before
curtains. As you can tell, Bermuda is a sunny place, which makes
things very pleasant.
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This is my dining room. How many
bachelors use their dining room, ever? My kitchen is in the distance
to the right.
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This
is my backyard patio. Note the Big Green Egg in the middle. To the
left is my gay scooter (I know, redundant). In the distance is the
Atlantic Ocean.
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The most important room in the
house. Here is my living room again, as viewed from my sofa. In the
distance is the Atlantic.
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Pictures of Bermuda
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This is a moongate, a Bermudian
thing adopted from the Far East. Legend says that honeymooners who
walk through the moongate are guaranteed eternal happiness. How
about a honeymooning divorce lawyer?
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Bermudians play on the ocean
quite a bit. As you can tell personal watercraft are ubiquitous.
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This is the famous pink sand.
Bermuda is famous for their pink beaches - unless of course, they
market their beaches as Hawai'ian beaches.
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This is front street. You will
note people park on the wrong side of the street as well. You can
see the "birdcage" in the distance, where a traffic cop
occasionally slows down traffic. You can see how colorful the
buildings are in Bermuda.
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This is Bernard's Park, where I
play flag football with a bunch of people.
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My mom stands under the Natural
Arches in Tucker's Town. These were wiped out by Hurricane Fabian.
Don't fret, the arches have been destroyed and rebuilt many times.
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My
parents at the Ariel Sands. Named for Ariel from Shakespeare's
Tempest, a statue of Ariel (not shown) is in the ocean to the left.
Shakespeare sucks, by the way. Soap opera writers are talentless
hacks, even in the 16th century. Michael Douglas owns the Ariel
Sands.
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I
think this is Elbow Beach. Bermuda has wonderful beaches. The best
beach for waves is Grape Bay. Horseshoe Bay is the most popular, and
it is a very nice beach. There are countless secluded places you can
find.
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This is Port Royal, a Robert
Trent Jones designed golf course. Bermuda has more golf courses per
capita than any other place on earth.
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A view of the harbor. Note the
color of the houses. Apparently the colors represent the ethnic
origins of the owner, but I'm not sure. You can see the white roofs.
All houses collect rainwater, and have white roofs that are designed
to collect it for drinking and bathing. Also note the tiny size of
the vehicles and the amount of scooters.
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Pictures of Hurricane Fabian's damage
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Here is the weather channel in
Bermuda. This is a pretty surreal image. On the lower half of the
screen, you can see the SSE 80-100, which translates into 80-100
knot winds from the southeast. The funny thing is the image is
"file not found." What is pretty scary is lower, you see
10-18 ft. What that means is that inside the reef, you will
have 10-18 ft. waves. That means from peak to trough, you will have
20-36 ft. waves. Incredible how powerful nature is.
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God
hates roads and apparently wants us to walk or something. This is a
road near John Smith's Bay. The asphalt is curved like it is dough.
Chunks of asphalt were torn up and thrown somewhere randomly.
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Apparently
god hates trees too. This is a picture my friend Tyler took. Tyler
is 5'9 3/4, so this gives you an indication how big this tree
is.
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Here's another picture by John
Smith's Bay SIX DAYS after Hurricane Fabian. Note that the color of
the water is still a brownish-reddish color. Incredible.
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I
don't know how there was relatively little damage to boats in
Bermuda. Obviously, these ones didn't go unscathed. There were many
idiots who decided to try and save their boats during Hurricane
Fabian. They are truly idiots, and their success doesn't necessarily
mean they were right. Amazingly, I know people whose houses were
destroyed, but whose boats survived.
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